dose of happy

I don't know if pregnancy caused this or if it just brought this to my attention but for the first time in my life I am able to live fully in the moment. Not so long ago, I was either consistently nostalgic for the past or worried about the future. All of the sudden, life is happening and I am reacting to it, without grieving for bygone days or dreaming of the ways it will be different in the future. It is a goddamn enjoyable feeling to "be here now". After years of casually,sarcastically telling people to do just that, it's finally starting to make sense. The here and now is good. The past is gone, it never existed. It is a concept, a bundle of patterns and reactions, a wave of empiricism carrying you into the present. The future will never happen, is always happening. There is only now, so we might as well experience it to the fullest. And on that note, a clown dance.